Crab with a 'K'

What kind of fish is this anyway?

I was born near the Atlantic in Northeast Florida and now live in The Tampa Bay area. Hillsborough County that is.

Much of the area is waterfront, which, coincidentally, leads to the Gulf of Mexico. Big cruise ships motor from here, bound for the Gulf, passing gently beneath the gorgeous Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Sunsets are a bonus for the lucky passenger.

By extension, one would think that market-fresh seafood would be readily available here, where I live.

Now, I could digress and go into particulars. I’ll add the big supermarkets here (you and me know who they are) offer ‘fresh’ seafood.

I have a problem with that.

Fresh? From where? South America, generally?

Value added on the sticker: ‘May have been previously fresh!’

Farm-raised? Gotta think about that one. But I believe I’m at the floor-level architecture here.

Enough.

My advice: If it comes out of the water, question it. And those who serve it.

Five basic seafood questions:

1) Is this crab with a ‘k’?

2) Is this grouper, or grooper? Black, red,or otherwise? Makes a difference.

3) Do you serve Krab Stix? Lotsa sushi out there with krab-like material. Is there any real ‘crab’ in there? If so, what kind?

4) Unknown crustaceans served as ‘Wild Caught Lobster.’ Always ask the server, ’Who was wild when this was caught? And what is this shit, anyway?’

5) And don’t forget: Worms.

I don’t want to bitch too much. I can get fresh seafood if I get in the car and go for a drive to the docks. Then, it’s still catch as catch-can. And that’s okay.

All I’m doing here is offering a warning when ingesting ‘food’ that came from unknown waters.

Question: Are you having Grooper tonight? Or, perhaps, Chilean Sea Basse?

“I’ll take the Sea Basse.”

“Excellent choice sir.”

$71, including a delicate carrot/broccoli mix, adorned with our signature ‘Chef’s Cream Toss du jour’ and our gracious-plenty and undeniable ‘Venezuelan Sticky Bread.’

Drinks and gratuity defintely not included. Just double the amount.

And it’s good to drink a lot when dining out and poking ‘See-Food’ down the old gullet.

Only to be returned, to the ocean where it all came from.